Wednesday, April 19, 2017

CHAIN LETTER (By James Darko)

By James Darko

After a rough day at work or school, there was nothing better than coming home and hearing those three magic words.

“You’ve got mail.”

Before broadband, before Wi-Fi, before 4G, there was dial-up.

But since its inception, a darker side of the World Wide Web has always existed, hiding in the shadows of cyberspace. And it’s only a click away. Click the wrong link, type the wrong phrase in a search engine, and you could open your eyes to a world of filth, depravity, and unimaginable terror…

Sk8rHawk87: Hey

Zeppelin420: Yo. Sup?

Sk8rHawk87: Nm u?

Zeppelin420: Same. Bored. Wish I had a joint.

Sk8rHawk87: Did u do ur book report yet?

Zeppelin420: Which 1?

Sk8rHawk87: The report 4 Mr. Dubin’s class

Zeppelin420: Nah not yet

Zeppelin420: We still got 2 more weeks of spring break

Zeppelin420: Plenty of time

Sk8rHawk87: Have u started any of your book reports?

Zeppelin420: I’m working my way around to it

Sk8rHawk87: Ur gonna wait till the last minute like u always do

Zeppelin420: So wat? I still pass

Sk8rHawk87: Barely

Zeppelin420: Blow me Hirschfeld

Sk8rHawk87: What if I paid Neville to blow u instead?

Zeppelin420: I bet he’d do it for free

Sk8rHawk87: Lol you’re prob right about that

Zeppelin420: Hey do you think Mr. Dubin smokes weed?

Sk8rHawk87: It would explain his choice of sweaters

Zeppelin420: How cool would it be to smoke with 1 of our teachers?

Sk8rHawk87: Idk

Sk8rHawk87: I’ve never smoked

Zeppelin420: Ur such a square dude

Sk8rHawk87: I’m a square because I value my brain cells?

Zeppelin420: Were freshmen now

Zeppelin420: Party well u can

Sk8rHawk87: I prefer getting straight A’s and not getting grounded by my parents

Zeppelin420: I’m gonna get u to blaze 1 day

Cherrrylips joined the group chat

Zeppelin420: Sup slut?

Cherrrylips: Nm dick licker. What r u 2 cock knockers talking about?

Sk8rHawk87: Mr. Dubin’s class

Zeppelin420: And smoking weed

Cherrrylips: OMG Mr. Dubin def smokes. I can smell it on him sometimes.

Zeppelin420: I knew it!

EmoGothChick28 joined the group chat

Zeppelin420: Who invited the basket case?

EmoGothChick28: Fuck u Wade

EmoGothChick28: Ur just pissed I turned u down at Brie Morgan’s party

Zeppelin420: Oh please Paige don’t act like ur anything special

Zeppelin420: U should consider urself lucky I even tried to get with you

EmoGothChick28: Oh yea it’s a real badge of fucking honor

Cherrrylips: Should Hirschfeld and I sign off and give you 2 some privacy?

EmoGothChick28: Oh fuck u 2 Cindy

Cherrrylips: Chill Paige. I was just kidding.

Zeppelin420: U guys r way 2 uptight. Ya’ll need to get high.

Sk8rHawk87: Is that ur solution 4 everything?

Zeppelin420: Yup

Cherrrylips: Hey where’s Neville? He’s always on his computer

Zeppelin420: Idk. I heard he’s been doin a lot of wrist cardio since he broke up with his gf

Cherrrylips: Wrist cardio?

EmoGothChick28: I just got it…

Cherrrylips: Ew me 2

Neville742 has joined the group chat

Zeppelin420: Speak of the Neville

Neville742: What’s that supposed to mean?

Cherrrylips: Never mind. Let’s change the subject

Cherrrylips: Who is going to Lauren Cantwell’s party on Friday?

Zeppelin420: I’m not invited

EmoGothChick28: Big surprise

Zeppelin420: Fuck urself Paige

EmoGothChick28: I’d rather fuck myself than fuck u

Zeppelin420: So ur gonna pretend that nothing ever happened between us

EmoGothChick28: Give me a break. We tried hooking up once and you were drunk and couldn’t get your little needle dick up.

Cherrrylips: TMI

Sk8rHawk87: Knock it off u guys

Neville742: Whoa wtf did I walk into?

Zeppelin420: Watever

EmoGothChick28: Whatever*

Zeppelin420: I hate you Paige

Cherrrylips: So I guess no one else is going to the party on Friday?

Zeppelin420: Who cares about Lauren’s party? That bitch acts like she’s so special cause her parents are loaded. And she always emails those annoying chain letters.

Cherrrylips: Ugh those r the worst

Cherrrylips: She always sends them to me. I feel so bad having to send them out to people. But I don’t fuck around with chain letters.

Neville742: Same here. I never ignore chain letters. I have enough bad luck as it as.

Sk8rHawk87: She sends them to me 2

Sk8rHawk87: I hate it

Sk8rHawk87: But I always feel compelled to send them

EmoGothChick28: I’m guilty 2. I forward every chain letter I get.

Zeppelin420: Really? I never send those things

Zeppelin420: I just delete them

EmoGothChick28: Did u guys see the last one Lauren sent? It creeped even me out

Sk8rHawk87: Yea that was something

Zeppelin420: lol what was it?

Zeppelin420: I probably deleted it

Cherrrylips: I can’t remember what it said. Hold on. I think I still have it.

Cherrrylips: I’m gonna copy and paste it

Cherrrylips: “Every chain has a link. Every link has a life. Break the chain, lose a life. Send this to five people or Death will come for you. You have 24 hours.”

Zeppelin420: LOL very funny

Sk8rHawk87: Cindy’s not joking. Lauren sent that email to me. Gave me the willies. I sent it out right away.

Neville742: Lauren emailed it to Paige and Paige emailed it to me

EmoGothChick28: Lol sorry Neville but I got freaked out when I read it

EmoGothChick28: Please tell me you sent it to 5 people

Neville742: Of course I did lol

Zeppelin420: Wait…that does sound familiar. Brb

Cherrrylips: Where’s he going?

EmoGothChick28: He’s prob whacking off or smoking a joint

Zeppelin420: I just checked my email. She sent it to me last night. I guess I read it but I forgot 2 delete it.

Neville742: Did you send it to 5 people?

Zeppelin420: Hahaha no. I never send those stupid things out.

Sk8rHawk87: What time did she send it to you?

Zeppelin420: Idk around 9

Sk8rHawk87: Wade…It’s nine o’clock

EmoGothChick28: LMAO Hirschfeld that was perfect

EmoGothChick28: Like something out of a horror movie

Cherrrylips: Uh oh looks like ur time is up Wade lol

Sk8rHawk87: Lol

Sk8rHawk87: It’s just a silly chain letter

Sk8rHawk87: They can’t really hurt anyone

EmoGothChick28: Or can they? What do you say Wade?

EmoGothChick28: Wade?

Sk8rHawk87: Very funny dude

Sk8rHawk87: You got us. Now come back.

Cherrrylips: Wade? U there?

Neville742: Come on dude. Stop dicking around and answer us.

Zeppelin420 has signed off

Neville742: Relax guys. He’ll come back. He’s def fucking with us.

Sk8rHawk87: I’m calling his house right now

Cherrrylips: It’s been five minutes Hirschfeld

EmoGothChick28: Yea what’s the story?

Sk8rHawk87: I can’t get through to his house. The line is busy.

Neville742: Guys this is Wade we’re talking about. I’m sure he’s fine.

On Wednesday, April 14th, 1999, Wade Thomas vanished without a trace from his Red Bank, New Jersey home. He never returned.

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